Solo Heartbeat Anniversary

1 year ago we were told Astrid’s heart was no longer beating.

I will never forget searching the screen for a blip during the ultrasound but only seeing flat lines. I still can’t believe I had to hear those words alone, while wearing a mask, and then call Jake (who was waiting in the car outside) to tell him the news.

Today is the first of the last painful 1-year anniversaries of the past year. The trio of them (13, 16, 21) is something I have been avoiding thinking too much about. I went to mass by myself this morning. It’s the Feast of the Ascension. I needed a reminder that my baby is with Jesus.

Friends (one known and one unknown) gave us flowers today. (And a gift card to DQ that we will use on Astrid’s birthday when we visit her grave.) Shecklet #4 also picked out mini roses to leave by her marker when we visit.