Three weeks ago – the patient’s perspective

It’s hard to believe that these were taken three weeks ago.

Before I was wheeled into the OR, Jake whispered, “I love you” one last time into my right ear.  Hearing those words in that moment gave me a last boost of courage to face what I knew was going to be a very rough 24-48 hours.  When I woke up from surgery and looked at the clock on the wall, the entire wall fell to the side.  This happened every time I opened my eyes.  It was nauseating.  Yesterday I walked three large laps at the mall with my mother-in-law and today I walked around our block on my own.  It is amazing how quickly our brains can adapt to major change.

I’ve been reflecting back on the last three weeks a lot lately.  So much has transpired in such a short amount of time.  I had brain surgery and was discharged from the hospital three days later! That blows my mind. When I left the hospital, I was still dizzy, and not completely balanced, but mostly capable of walking on my own.  That blows my mind.  The prayers and emails, texts, and blog post comments continue.  That blows my mind. (And also makes me smile.)

There have been a few people throughout this ordeal who have told Jake that they started praying for me after not having been to church or praying in years.  Others have shared that reading about what my recovery has entailed has caused them to “reset” so to say and not take for granted the simple things in life that they are able to do without thinking twice – walking, picking something up off the floor, driving kids to and from.  I’ve even heard that kids have told their parents they are praying for me (without any prompting.) <Insert my tears here.>

After I was told I had a brain tumor last fall, I began to pray for healing.  It seemed like a logical prayer request.  Little did I know I should have been more specific.  God saw it fit to start healing areas in my life that I didn’t realize needed healing.  It took facing Norman to bring me to a place where I could see that my perspective on certain relationships needed a major adjustment and helped me realize areas in my life that were broken.  It has been hard – probably the hardest six months of my life, and I know He’s not done with me yet.  But I’m grateful for the chance to see how God is using it all – my diagnosis, surgery, and recovery, in ways I never imagined.