Six years ago
1/23/18 – brain surgery
1/23/24 – sent kids off to school, going grocery shopping this morning, and I get to play volleyball tonight.
Today looks very different from six years ago. 🩶
Tag: family
New day, new school!
Local public school, here come the Sheck girls!
Clothing choices, bus stops in the neighborhood, new friends, and new opportunities. We are all excited for what this big change will bring.
A good run
All good things must come to an end.
The Shecks had a good 17.5 year run.
A kid got left at church after Family Formation tonight.
Text from child left behind: Where are you?
Parent #1 replies : In the kitchen.
Kid goes to kitchen at church and replies: I don’t see you.
Meanwhile, Parent #2 realizes what is going on and says to Parent #1,
“How did you and #4 not realize #1 wasn’t with you when you left the church?”
Three – 2023 đź©·
We really haven’t had what anyone in MN would call “Spring” this year. In spite of that, my memories of the final weeks we had with Astrid have been running through my mind.
Last month I attended the funeral for a young woman I never met but had recently met her parents. In the eulogies prior to the funeral service, her youngest brother spoke about how during a period of time when the young woman was not around for family gatherings, he would do a head count, feel her missing presence, and recognize his family was “not complete.” These two words struck me at my heart – I feel them two ways. One, as the missing person and two, as the person missing someone else.
When you lose a child who no one ever had the chance to meet “in real life,” it makes for interesting introductions. When someone asks how many kids I have, I almost always say 4. It’s not that I’m ashamed or embarrassed that I have two others (one miscarried and one stillborn,) rather, those are sacred parts of my life that I reserve for people who have earned the right to know. But as I answer the question about kids, I feel the words “not complete” in my chest. It’s a heaviness that I doubt will ever go away.
Mother’s Day 2023
5/14/23
Today is sandwiched between a day I remember as a painfully low day and one that brought immense joy. Three years ago on 5/13/20, we found out that Astrid had died. Tomorrow is her older brother’s birthday. And though it will get its own post, I will briefly mention that Astrid’s birth day is the next day, 5/16.
Next year it looks like I will be spared the aligning of her non-heartbeat day with Mother’s Day. I’m grateful for that. As the parent of a child who died before they “should” have, these Hallmark holidays can be especially difficult. It’s a fine line to walk being excited to have kids around and yet recognizing things are not complete. Someone is missing. (Two someones, actually.) And while I do want to be upbeat and cheery for my four Shecklets, my melancholic self tends to notice who is missing. And that makes me sad.
I can’t believe it has been three years since we lost Astrid. The times I imagine her as the age she “should” be are fewer than in the past, but I do tend to picture her as an almost three year old around this time of year. I see my four kids getting older, growing in independence, and I enjoy each one of the so much. And yet, when I stop and look, I realize my picture is not complete. Someone is missing.
NDSU visit
Trying to learn from my mistakes growing up, I want my kids to visit different colleges to help figure out what the best fit is for them.
Jake’s youngest cousin and her fiancé were open to Lincoln and me visiting them at NDSU this weekend. (Unfortunately, Jake wasn’t feeling well, so he didn’t make the trip.)
S&J gave us a personal tour, we saw the engineering buildings, the union, the health complex, one of the dining halls, and the main dorms for freshmen and sophomores. The first hand knowledge they were willing to share about their experiences was fantastic. Mom and Dad can tell their kids about how things were 20 years ago when they were in school, but to have someone closer in age share has a different impact.
After our tour, we went back to S’s apartment and chatted before heading downtown for dinner at Pounds and dessert at T and Crepe. Both were delicious!
We ended our Fargo tour with a stop at Scheels and a drive by the mall and shopping of West Fargo.
HBD Shecklet #2 – 15!
We have two kids solidly in their teens. Shecklet #2 turns 15 today. Yowzers! He has grown and changed SO much in the last year. Definitely looks more like a young man than an older boy. He’s our witty jokester who is adventurous, yet kind. He’s great with kids and isn’t afraid to hold a baby. His passion is skiing – mostly the terrain park – and he also enjoys mountain biking and ultimate frisbee. He’s a positive example at his high school and stays true to his values. He is active in his faith and has made good friends who support each other in it. His sights are set on pursuing a career in engineering and I have no doubt that he will do great!
Happy birthday Shecklet #2! We love you and are so proud of who you are becoming!
HBD Gma Patti! 🍀
All of the grandkids were able to help Grandma Patti celebrate her birthday today! 🎉🍀
