T minus one week

One week from today I’ll be rolled in to an operating room where a surgical team will save my life.

Writing that just stopped me in my tracks.

If I hadn’t pursued the bothersome pain in my ear a year ago, if my recurring sinus infections hadn’t annoyed me to the point where I sought treatment from an ENT, if I hadn’t stopped to take the time to take care of myself, if I hadn’t finally had an MRI done, I still may not know why the right side of my inner ear hurts, or why things just don’t quite feel right.

If left untreated, this tumor could cause significant side-effects, including death.  It’s hard to believe that something so slow-growing can do such damage to a person.

Shecklet #3 has been having a particularly difficult time with the idea of Jake and me leaving for two weeks.  I get it.  I don’t want to leave my kids either.  But I remind her (and in doing so, remind myself) that I’m leaving because I need to.  I need to have this stupid brain tumor removed so I have can have the opportunity to be there for my husband and kids in the future.  I know I’ve got a long road ahead of me.  I’ve heard recovery sucks.  But if going through all of this means I get to live, then let’s go.  Norman has overstayed his welcome.  (Actually he was never welcome in the first place!)

I had a change in perspective today.  A while back I wrote about the “lasts” that I would be experiencing between then and my surgery.  Today I realized that while yes, that’s true, after surgery there will be a plethora of “firsts” as well.  And even though I’ll be experiencing sound in a dramatically different way, those are things I to look forward to.