Six years ago
1/23/18 – brain surgery
1/23/24 – sent kids off to school, going grocery shopping this morning, and I get to play volleyball tonight.
Today looks very different from six years ago. đŠś
Tag: Jacob
A good run
All good things must come to an end.
The Shecks had a good 17.5 year run.
A kid got left at church after Family Formation tonight.
Text from child left behind: Where are you?
Parent #1 replies : In the kitchen.
Kid goes to kitchen at church and replies: I don’t see you.
Meanwhile, Parent #2 realizes what is going on and says to Parent #1,
“How did you and #4 not realize #1 wasn’t with you when you left the church?”
21st Anniversary 10/18/23
Dear Jacob,
21 years
Weâve definitely had our ups and downs, but I canât imagine going through them with anyone but you.
I love you. Thank you for being the strong, supportive, encouraging man Iâm grateful to call my husband. â¤ď¸
Motherâs Day 2023
5/14/23
Today is sandwiched between a day I remember as a painfully low day and one that brought immense joy. Three years ago on 5/13/20, we found out that Astrid had died. Tomorrow is her older brotherâs birthday. And though it will get its own post, I will briefly mention that Astridâs birth day is the next day, 5/16.
Next year it looks like I will be spared the aligning of her non-heartbeat day with Motherâs Day. Iâm grateful for that. As the parent of a child who died before they âshouldâ have, these Hallmark holidays can be especially difficult. Itâs a fine line to walk being excited to have kids around and yet recognizing things are not complete. Someone is missing. (Two someones, actually.) And while I do want to be upbeat and cheery for my four Shecklets, my melancholic self tends to notice who is missing. And that makes me sad.
I canât believe it has been three years since we lost Astrid. The times I imagine her as the age she âshouldâ be are fewer than in the past, but I do tend to picture her as an almost three year old around this time of year. I see my four kids getting older, growing in independence, and I enjoy each one of the so much. And yet, when I stop and look, I realize my picture is not complete. Someone is missing.
5 Year ANniversary
Today is the five year ANniversary (AN=acoustic neuroma) of my craniotomy/tumor eviction. Five years and there are still times when I experience moments of “did I really go through all of that?”
Five years post-op feels different. Life has obviously gone on, I am living my “new normal,” and yet in the last few weeks I have had emotions hit me that I thought I had already processed. It’s been a bit unsettling. However, instead of burying my feelings, I’ve been peeling back layers and riding the emotional waves as best I can. Thank you, therapy.
I know this anniversary is one that my husband is experiencing as well, just from a different perspective. He waited for hours in the hospital as the surgeons worked to remove the tumor from one of my cranial nerves. One surgery, two different experiences. I spent last night re-reading the blog posts that Jake wrote on the day of my surgery and the first few weeks of my recovery. They are a reminder to me of how he will do whatever he needs to do for his family and how he can always find a positive perspective – something that was a huge encouragement to me during the first year of my recovery.
I am not the same person I was when I was wheeled into the operating room 5 years ago. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I am different. I know people change over time, but the difference I feel is not something I can necessarily explain. Rather, I can feel the difference inside me – some of it is good and some I continue to work on refining. Again, thank you, therapy.
How do you honor the anniversary of a day that was not joy-filled? For me, it varies year to year. This year, Jake and I went to lunch at a local Vietnamese restaurant. The pháť was delicious and the conversation was good for my heart. I process things by talking, and Jake is a very good listener.
This evening was filled with shuttling kids around and attending a school board meeting. (Because the world doesn’t stop for brain tumor surgery anniversaries.) I did make time earlier in the day to bake a chocolate vinegar cake (GF just for me). I know I’ve written about it before. It’s one frequently enjoyed by Jake’s extended family and one of my favorite desserts. I made it for this ANniversary back in 2019 and felt it was fitting to make it again this year. So maybe that’s the best way to remember the day – with cake.
Stay tuned…5 year post-op MRI is on Thursday. I’m praying for clear scans.
U of MN bball game
Jake and I took Shecklet #3 and Shecklet #4 to a Gopher Women’s basketball game this afternoon. The league the girls played in partnered with the Gophers to offer discounted tickets. The Gophers didn’t end up with a win, but it was still fun to be back in The Barn to watch the game. Afterwards, the girls got to go onto the court and have their picture taken with teammates who attended. We had friends capture a picture for us in our maroon and gold.
2nd Snow Day of 2023!
Day 2 of school being cancelled for the girls and this time Shecklet #2’s district cancelled as well. Shecklet #1’s school won’t ever cancel due to weather since he’s online, but Wednesdays are not usually a heavy day for him, so he got to enjoy the snow along with his siblings.
I think the final total from this latest snowstorm ended up being around 14 inches.
The snow was perfect for packing, so naturally, Jake and the kids built a sledding track. And not just any sledding track, but one that has been talked about for years. They piled the snow up and over the back fence.
December 2022 road trip revived!
We loaded up the suburban this morning and pointed it south, with a final destination of STL programmed into the GPS.
The roads in southern MN and northern IA were particularly crummy and we considered turning around when we stopped for lunch in Clear Lake. However, we decided to give it until Cedar Rapids before we turned around. Jake said there were a few slick spots on overpasses, but overall the roads were mostly clear and we were able to drive at posted speeds.
We made a stop in Cedar Rapids for gas and to get shoes for the girls. We discovered about an hour or so into the trip that they only brought their crocs. This wouldnât have been a huge issue if we werenât planning some activities that require more secure footwear. Thankfully Target had what we needed.
We have a hotel booked in St. Charles for the duration of our stay.
The girls went for a quick swim before the pool closed for the night. I know I havenât done much, just sat shotgun the whole day, but Iâm looking forward to a good nightâs sleep. đ´
Christmas 2022
Our plans for Christmas break changed from road trip to homebound thanks to snow, sub-zero wind chills, and poor road conditions.
We had originally planned on traveling to STL on 12/23 to visit Shecklet #3’s godfather, then on to GA to visit family, and finally to FL to visit friends. On 12/21, the house was minimally decorated for Christmas, I was caught up on laundry, and we had minimal items left in the fridge.
School ended up being cancelled for Shecklet #2 on 12/22, so we we considered getting on the road a day early. However, IA looked like this:
We made the adult decision to stay safe and not risk the stress or potential car trouble while in a “towing not recommended” zone. Our cancelled plans meant we were able to play games as a family, decorate sugar cookies, and shovel lots of snow.
We were also able to attend Christmas Eve Mass at our parish.
Jake shopped for heavy appetizers earlier in the day for our after-mass Christmas Eve meal.
Christmas morning we opened gifts and relaxed for a few hours. Shecklet #1 assembled his LEGO set, we hung Shecklet #4’s new cork board, and Shecklet #3 got to work figuring out classic rock melodies on her guitar. Shecklet #2 had to wait to try his new goggles.
We headed to Jake’s parents house around 3pm for dinner and opening gifts. The Shecklets enjoyed getting to see their cousins.
