1 year without Astrid
How can one year without our sweet baby have already passed by?
I started writing this post about a week before the anniversary of finding out Astrid’s heart stopped beating. I currently find myself in the middle of a very busy month. It seems we went from zero on the calendar to booked solid. We’re still distance learning, the kids are in activities that require chauffeuring multiple days a week, and this particular weekend was one where we celebrated two joy-filled occasions on one day: Shecklet #1’s 15th birthday and Shecklet #4’s First Communion.
And then there’s today. 5/16/2021.
This is not a day I ever wanted to have to mark on the calendar. I don’t know if dread is the proper way to describe how I’ve felt as 5/16 approached, but I suppose it’s been something like that. Yes, I know you can say we are celebrating a life, our daughter/sister’s life – her birth day. But it is nowhere near the same as the first birthdays her siblings have been able to celebrate with us. Her earthly life was so short. (Too short, IMO.) And thanks to COVID, her siblings and other family members never even had the chance to see her or hold her.
The events following the end of her life were intense. Induction planning, funeral planning, burial planning, and my return to the hospital – all within a week. I felt like I was on autopilot. Not much room for grieving with all of that going on. A year later, I feel like I’m reliving it all as we navigate what is really more of a week of anniversaries, not just a solitary day. It’s still hard to wrap my head around it all. I have felt numb at times. I know I haven’t given myself the space to truly feel the emotions in real-time because of the busyness of daily life. It’s good I have a therapy appointment this week.
Talking about a child’s death is not comfortable. I understand that bringing up their name or mentioning their life (no matter how long it was) can be hard. And yet, to those of us who have lost a child, it means so much to know that our kids are not forgotten. People know. People care. But not many will talk about them with you. Watching someone cry can be awkward. Death is uncomfortable. Silence is “easier.” I get it. That said, I am very grateful for those who have recently been willing to enter into the part of my life where my heart will always ache because it’s missing someone.
In the weeks leading up to today, a few people took the uncomfortable step to open the conversation to talk about Astrid. One friend (who I finally got to see after 1 1/2 years,) offered her condolences in person, asked me questions, and allowed me to share about my experience with this tremendous loss. Another friend texted me a few weeks before 5/16 to tell me she’s praying for me and recognized that the coming weeks would likely be difficult ones. The fact that she remembered this time of the year for my family meant a lot. Yesterday after First Communion, two friends handed me cards to open today. This morning, I received two hugs before mass and two after mass – one came from a stranger who told me, “I feel like I’m being led to give you a hug.” And throughout the day today, I received emails and text messages from friends and family who told me they’re thinking of us and praying for us. They wrote Astrid’s name. They cared enough to take the time to reach out. I feel humbled by people’s kindness towards me and my family.
The past 365 days have gone slow and fast at the same time. They have been full of tears, questions, prayers, and also peace. Astrid Philomena Sheck, we love you, we miss you, and we live with the hope of seeing you again one day in heaven! Happy birthday, sweet baby girl!

First Communion – Shecklet #4
Today was a day that Shecklet #4 has been counting down to for several weeks! Her godparents came to town to witness her First Communion with us. We were also joined by Grandma Patti, Grandpa Dave, Great Grandma Lois, Aunt Kari, Aunt Larissa, and several friends. Our little girl is definitely loved!



In his homily, Fr. Jim asked the kids if any of them had thought about what they wanted to be when they grew up. (He was relating his question to the call the apostles had once Jesus ascended to Heaven.) Shecklet #4 volunteered her answer last. She said she wants to be a saint! This sweet girl has always had an extra special dose of compassion for others and deep feeling of God’s presence in her life. I look forward to continuing to watch her grow in her faith.
One of my friends was able to capture some beautiful pictures of Shecklet #4 receiving the Eucharist. And Jake recorded a video. After mass, we had an opportunity to take a photo with our pastor, Fr. Jim.


We continued our celebration with a reception at our house. Huge thanks to M&M for helping set out/prep the food for everyone after mass. And special thanks to Shecklet #1 for sharing his ice cream cake for dessert – it was a popular choice with our friends and family!


Congratulations, Shecklet #4! We are so happy for you! What a beautiful day!
Golden birthday – Shecklet #1
How can this kid be 15?!?
He is a kind, compassionate, and easy-going teenager. We have watched him grow so much over the last 15 years – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I look forward to what the coming year (and start of high school in the fall) have in store for him!
Today he shared his birthday with his younger sister, who received her First Holy Communion at 5:30 mass. As a follow-up to his practice golden birthday, we had him open his gifts mid-afternoon, before we headed to church. He also requested a cookie dough ice cream cake, which was a very popular dessert at his sister’s reception!


Solo Heartbeat Anniversary

1 year ago we were told Astrid’s heart was no longer beating.
I will never forget searching the screen for a blip during the ultrasound but only seeing flat lines. I still can’t believe I had to hear those words alone, while wearing a mask, and then call Jake (who was waiting in the car outside) to tell him the news.
Today is the first of the last painful 1-year anniversaries of the past year. The trio of them (13, 16, 21) is something I have been avoiding thinking too much about. I went to mass by myself this morning. It’s the Feast of the Ascension. I needed a reminder that my baby is with Jesus.
Friends (one known and one unknown) gave us flowers today. (And a gift card to DQ that we will use on Astrid’s birthday when we visit her grave.) Shecklet #4 also picked out mini roses to leave by her marker when we visit.

Date night at the Depot…
Home Depot, that is.
This is what 18 1/2 years of marriage (21 years together) looks like on a random Wednesday night in May.

A stop at HD to look for Mother’s Day flowers for my MIL and then a stroll around the store with a stop at the patio furniture. Conversation without interruption is rare, so we’ll take advantage of it when we can.
May Day
It was a gorgeous day today – full of activities, family, and friends.
Shecklet #1 went north last night and has been working at Nissedalen – doing with manual labor. Grandma Patti has kept us in the loop by sending photos of their progress.


The girls had track meets this morning and did a great job! The weather was a million times better today than last week. It was so much fun seeing the encouragement the girls had for each other as well as the fans in the stands cheering for the kids as they ran towards the finish line.

After track, Shecklet #4 went to her Aunt Larissa’s for her birthday overnight. (The kids look forward to this opportunity every year!) One of their projects was a fairy garden

Shecklets #3 and 2 hung out at home while Jake and I attended the First Communion mass of our goddaughter. It was so good to see her and her family! It had been about a year and a half since we last saw them in person.

On our way home, we picked up take-out from a local Mexican place. Delish! And so nice to not have to cook or clean up any dishes!
I had a nice call with one of my aunts this evening – we got caught up in life and tried to solve a few of the world’s problems in the process
Today has been a great start to May!