This morning Veronica discussed with the doctors plans for her to leave the hospital. When Veronica gets more of her balance back, they will put together a plan. I am in the on-deck circle! She seems to have improved last night as much as she did the previous night. The pain and dizziness continue to persist.
Veronica gave all she could today. Her determination continues to inspire me. We have been told that tomorrow should be a turning point. I pray that it is.
Veronica just walked all the way from the recliner to the bathroom holding the OT’s hand, but she did it without a walker. The OT had her brush her teeth. Veronica was very glad to have a clean mouth. After the tooth brushing Veronica went for a walk with the PT. Veronica held the PT’s hand and walked all the way “around” the floor. I would guess that is was 50 feet. Then she and the PT did some exercises turning around and looking side to side. Here walking improved with every step she took. When she got back to the room she asked me to open the shades a little bit. The shade part is almost as big of a deal as walking so far. She is exhausted and resting in bed now.
Shckelet#3 and Shecklet#4 have had a worry of Mommy not feeling well, and not knowing when she is coming back after she leaves. I have had a few bedtimes with them when one or both of the little ones were sad about Mommy’s surgery. I know that some of this behavior was them stalling or feeling extra tired. I also know some of this fear came from them because they truly love their mother and don’t want to be away from her for any amount of time. They both kept talking, thinking, and worrying about the day when Mommy was to leave. Shecklet#3 didn’t want Mommy to have to endure pain. Over the weeks Veronica and I worked to try to help them think about and talk about when Mommy is going to come home. They really responded well to this and have found hope in anticipating that day.
Before we left for California I had a number of conversations with Shecklet#2 because I was worried that he had unrealistic expectations. He kept insisting that his mom would come home and there would be nothing wrong. I thought that I needed to help him understand that there are dangers to the procedure and that the expected side effects would be hard. I was frustrated that he wasn’t hearing what I thought he needed to hear. He was probably frustrated that I kept trying to talk to him about it. He was persistent in telling me that he wasn’t worried and that Mommy would be OK. I eventually started to realize then and I am more confident of it now that he doesn’t care about the side effects he isn’t worried about the burden of helping with extra care for his mother. He has faith that the woman he loves will always be with him and he will love her the same and she will love him the same. He is right in more ways than I first realized.
After we told the kids about Veronica’s diagnosis we carefully watched how the Shecklets responded. We wanted to be available for them as they worked through the thoughts and emotions that they felt. I wasn’t sure how Shecklet#1 felt, and he didn’t indicate having any sort of strong emotion. It made me anxious not knowing what he was thinking, or how to help him. He has this slightly awkward pre-adolescent thing where he stands near Veronica and waits for her attention then asks if he can give her a hug. When he was younger he would just run to her and hug her, but as he has gotten lankier it is hard for him to give her affection unannounced without bumping into her or knocking into her glasses. I have noticed that over the last few months he has patiently waited and kindly asked Veronica for hugs much more often. I am proud of him for realizing that he wants to be close to his mom and advocating for their relationship and expressing his love for her. When I encouraged him about this he told me that he knew that Mom needed more hugs and he likes to give her hugs.
As for me, at my core, I have a very small faith. It doesn’t come out in song, or scripture quotes. It doesn’t leak on the floor leaving a trail. It is small but unwavering and solid. When all else fails, it is there. This is one of the many gifts that my parents have given me. This week I am so glad that they have.
Veronica spent this morning working on more vestibular therapy. I keep noticing the little wins that she is racking up. Her pain and dizziness keep her from noticing. When she talks to me now she looks at me and makes eye contact. She put a respectable dent in her lunch. She is tired now from all of the work this morning and is resting. OT is coming this afternoon. There was some trouble with the IV yesterday and today. The nurse was able to start a new IV in her arm, so OT won’t be so problematic.
Veronica walked over to the recliner this morning and is now eating an egg and cheese omelette. The pain has subsided a little, but the dizziness isn’t subsiding yet. She is asking for prayers for the pain, and dizziness.
Dr. Friedman’s residents just took the compression bandage off Veronica’s head. She loudly and sharply said “Ah” which I thought meant that it was hurting more but she finished the sentence with “that feels better”.
Overnight the doctors and nurses continued to work on the right combination of pain medication. The medications seem to be starting to work. She is still in a lot of pain, but it doesn’t seem intense.
The doctors and nurses feel that she is continuing to recover as expected.
While heading out just now I saw this. The woman who owns this house had these flowers left for us for our arrival. One little flower is no more, but the rest of the bouquet is still beautiful.
I waited for Veronica to get her next round of pain medication. Now I will go to sleep so I can be alert for the nurse shift change at 7 tomorrow. We are told that tomorrow may seem the same to Veronica, but I will start to notice little wins. She is speaking with more complete sentences this evening. Still trying to manage the pain.
This afternoon Veronica was brought out of the ICU to a regular hospital room. When she arrived at the new room, she got out of the wheelchair and walked with help from the nurse to a chair about 12 feet away. She was given the choice of laying down or trying to sit. She chose to sit. A short while later she walked with me to the bathroom which was about 15 feet away. After that, we walked back to the bed. She was exhausted but stayed sitting up on the side of the bed. The more time she spends sitting up, and moving the faster she will recover. The OT came a little while later. Veronica at first walked with the OT and me helping. She then took a walker all the way out of the room. She turned around in the hallway and made it all the way back to the bed. When the OT asked Veronica if she could speed up, she did. She is exhausted now. The doctors and nurses are working diligently to manage the pain. Vestibular therapy is really hard, but whenever the shecklets are mentioned or asked about she fights through. During what I hope is the hardest day of her life she is still a mommy first.