After the initial diagnosis, Veronica was presented with a number of possible ways to treat her tumor.  Based on her age and the size of the tumor “wait and see” was taken off of the table by the doctors.  Eventually, the tumor would cause unrecoverable damage inside of her cranium.  We didn’t like the outcomes of radiation.  The likelihood of success wasn’t a strong enough for us.  This left Veronica with the choice between two surgical approaches.  One option allowed for the possibility of keeping her hearing, with the risk of causing chronic migraine headaches.  The other option almost guaranteed the loss of hearing, but gave the doctors the best access to the tumor and probably would have a better chance of getting the whole tumor out.  There was a discussion among the doctors as to which was the best procedure for her tumor because it hadn’t compromised her hearing yet.  They informed us of the likelihood of success and side effects of each option.

I feel that Veronica had chosen early on which procedure that she wanted to undergo.  Her history of migraines kept her for entertaining the idea of trying to save her hearing.

The day before the surgery we had a meeting with the two lead surgeons and after reviewing her MRI again, they both struggled with the idea of taking away her hearing.  It was hard for Veronica to have live through deciding again to sacrifice her hearing.

Veronica put it like this “You have this crappy option,  you have this crappy option, you have this crappy option.  Pick one.”

Dr. Schwartz told Veronica after the surgery that while he was removing the tumor he discovered that he would not have been able to save her hearing with the other approach.

Veronica had a small lunch and is now working on her exercises.  Halfway through one exercise veronica said to me “This is getting easier.  I mean it is still hard, but it isn’t as bad as the first day”  She continues to fight the pain.

It is now my turn to try to balance things.  Veronica has been asleep for 4 hours, and she is due for meds.  I hate to wake her up, but I don’t want to get behind on the meds.  I want to help keep her pain down so she can keep up her vestibular therapy.  Every time she has gotten up to take her meds she has done some of the exercises without me suggesting it.  She keeps giving it her all.

Around the house, I have been holding Veronica’s hands because we have kept the lights off, and the floor is full of challenging rugs and thresholds.  Twice during the night she stopped and hugged me.  I thought she was working on dizzy spells, but I was wrong again, she just wanted a hug.  They reminded me of the hugs that Nolan gives us.  I usually take for granted Veronica and I’s physical closeness.  We can go 5 days without touching each other or 5 minutes.  The last couple of days I have felt close to her but had forgotten how much I like when she hugs me.