Shckelet#3 and Shecklet#4 have had a worry of Mommy not feeling well, and not knowing when she is coming back after she leaves. I have had a few bedtimes with them when one or both of the little ones were sad about Mommy’s surgery. I know that some of this behavior was them stalling or feeling extra tired. I also know some of this fear came from them because they truly love their mother and don’t want to be away from her for any amount of time. They both kept talking, thinking, and worrying about the day when Mommy was to leave. Shecklet#3 didn’t want Mommy to have to endure pain. Over the weeks Veronica and I worked to try to help them think about and talk about when Mommy is going to come home. They really responded well to this and have found hope in anticipating that day.

Before we left for California I had a number of conversations with Shecklet#2 because I was worried that he had unrealistic expectations. He kept insisting that his mom would come home and there would be nothing wrong. I thought that I needed to help him understand that there are dangers to the procedure and that the expected side effects would be hard. I was frustrated that he wasn’t hearing what I thought he needed to hear. He was probably frustrated that I kept trying to talk to him about it. He was persistent in telling me that he wasn’t worried and that Mommy would be OK. I eventually started to realize then and I am more confident of it now that he doesn’t care about the side effects he isn’t worried about the burden of helping with extra care for his mother. He has faith that the woman he loves will always be with him and he will love her the same and she will love him the same. He is right in more ways than I first realized.

After we told the kids about Veronica’s diagnosis we carefully watched how the Shecklets responded. We wanted to be available for them as they worked through the thoughts and emotions that they felt. I wasn’t sure how Shecklet#1 felt, and he didn’t indicate having any sort of strong emotion. It made me anxious not knowing what he was thinking, or how to help him. He has this slightly awkward pre-adolescent thing where he stands near Veronica and waits for her attention then asks if he can give her a hug. When he was younger he would just run to her and hug her, but as he has gotten lankier it is hard for him to give her affection unannounced without bumping into her or knocking into her glasses. I have noticed that over the last few months he has patiently waited and kindly asked Veronica for hugs much more often. I am proud of him for realizing that he wants to be close to his mom and advocating for their relationship and expressing his love for her. When I encouraged him about this he told me that he knew that Mom needed more hugs and he likes to give her hugs.

As for me, at my core, I have a very small faith. It doesn’t come out in song, or scripture quotes. It doesn’t leak on the floor leaving a trail. It is small but unwavering and solid. When all else fails, it is there. This is one of the many gifts that my parents have given me. This week I am so glad that they have.