I took the roses I dried from Papa Dale’s and Astrid’s funerals and put them together in a shadow box. Not only will they no longer collect dust, but I don’t have to worry about them crumbling every time they get bumped.
There is a group of three mini roses in the corner that makes me think of my three girls 🌹🌹🌹
During the month of October, a local artist, Bernadette Gockowski, offered to paint watercolor cards with the name (or names) for mothers of a baby (or babies) who died before they were born. I received our name card during Advent, which was a beautiful gift.
The Shecklets decorated our Christmas tree tonight. They hung Astrid’s “A” ornament first.
The finished tree got two thumbs up from Shecklet #4.
Shecklet #3 also asked if we could hang a stocking for Astrid. We had an extra one (the white bear) that someone had given us the Christmas prior to Shecklet #1 joining us – but we ended up using a different one for him. It turns out it’s the perfect addition to our mantle this year.
Six months ago I heard the words, “no heartbeat.”
I don’t think I will ever forget the sadness and ache I felt inside as I laid in the ultrasound room alone while the ultrasound tech went to get the doctor. I sobbed inside my stupid mask, wishing Jake was with me.
Stupid virus.
We went to mass this morning to remember Astrid and hear her name read as part of the intentions during mass. Two of my girlfriends surprised us and joined us. Another friend sent me a photo of their family remembrance table where they pray for family and friends who have died. I am so grateful for the people who continue to pray for us and remember our sweet little girl.
Our parish gave us a candle with Astrid’s name on it after mass. I placed it alongside the Hope cross that my friend, Heidi, gave me after our miscarriage in 2009.
November is a month when we remember our loved ones who have died. Trusting in God’s goodness, we believe our little girl is a saint in heaven and is waiting and praying for us until we can meet her again one day.
There’s a saying I’ve seen on the internet that has brought me comfort when I find myself missing Astrid.
“…and to think, the first thing she saw when her little eyes opened was the face of Jesus.” đź’•
The ache of missing her doesn’t go away, but there is no sadness or worry about her being alone. I know she is in the best company possible and I look forward to joining her one day.
I took three of the Shecklets to mass tonight to remember their baby sister. I love the prayer that we prayed at the end of mass.
This morning, our family walked in the 2020 NILMDTS Virtual Remembrance Walk in honor of Astrid.
I’m incredibly grateful for the retouched images we have of her thanks to Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.
This year’s remembrance walk is a virtual walk. I ordered a T-shirt (Astrid’s name is on the back) and we will walk together as a family next Saturday. Maybe next year we will be able to join in a live walk again (like we did in support of our friends last fall.)
