5/21/20 – Funeral Mass & Burial

Today we buried our daughter. Her place of rest is near the babies of several of our good friends. When Jake suggested we choose St. John’s Cemetery for Astrid, I immediately said yes. I can’t think of anywhere else I would want her to be than near the other little saints we know.

Her funeral mass was beautiful. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, the six of us were only allowed to be present for her funeral. (We had hoped the mass could be recorded so we could share it with a few people, but it turns out the recording didn’t work. I was extremely disappointed.) While it was sad to not have others who are also grieving our little girl’s death there to celebrate her short life with us, it was ok. I didn’t feel anxious about needing to comfort others or relive the events of the last week over and over.

Astrid’s brothers and biggest sister read the readings and intentions during mass. They did a great job honoring their little sister. Fr. Jim gave a lovely homily and even incorporated the heart sign that I put over my belly on Mother’s Day.

Jacob carried her casket (made by Trappist Monks in Iowa) out of the church and then from the hearse to the grave site. We are so grateful for the beautiful ministry of the monks who made her casket (and our parish for having it available for us.)

At the grave site, Fr. Jim prayed with us (and a few friends and family who were able to join us.) I’m grateful for the love and support we felt in the cemetery. Five of the six of us took a turn shoveling dirt on top of the vault and then each of Astrid’s siblings placed a pink rose on top. I really hope that being part of her burial is an act of love that they will always be able to look back on.

5/19/20 – Additional planning

Astrid’s Grandma Patti (Jake’s mom) offered for us to use the baptismal gown that Jake and his siblings were baptized in to wrap around Astrid when she is laid to rest. The dress was made by her Great-grandma Lois and is a similar design to the one that Grandma Lois made for the Shecklets’ baptisms. Jake brought the gown over to the funeral home yesterday afternoon.

Today we heard back from our Judy from our parish, who has been guiding us through planning Astrid’s funeral mass. We did some minor additions to music and asked for Shecklet #3 to change roles with Jake so she could read the intentions at mass. Shecklet #1 will read the first reading (Wisdom 3: 1 – 3, 9) and Shecklet #2 will read the second (Philippians 3: 20, 21.)

Two of our friends worked together to create a Meal Train for us for the next few weeks and we have been blessed with two meals thus far. Much like when we returned home from my brain surgery in CA, being provided a meal during a time of recovery, and in this case, recovery & loss, is a gift that means so much. I know people say “it’s the least I can do,” but really, it means way more to us.

I keep scrolling through the photos we took of our time with Astrid in the hospital. We still have not had a chance to look at the ones taken by our nurses, but we will get there. The organization, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, that is available to take photos for families experiencing the loss of their babies was not able to come to the hospital to take photos for us, but they do offer a retouching service. Once we’ve looked at all of the pictures we have of Astrid, I plan to send a selection to them in hopes that they can be retouched if possible.

HBD JDS 2020 🎂

It’s Jake’s birthday today. The second family birthday we’re celebrating in quarantine-mode. He requested take-out from Ole Piper Inn and an ice cream cake. His sister, Larissa, was also able to join us. (The cake was part of my Walmart pick-up order and was slightly less than perfect, but it couldn’t beat his “Barthday” cake from several years ago.)

For presents, he told me the best one would be getting a text from me after my weekly midwife appointment telling him I heard the baby’s heartbeat. Thankfully the baby was more than happy to give him that gift.

The Shecklet bandits

My aunt and uncle are making masks for those who need them in their community. (They even appeared in their local newspaper because of their efforts.) When they asked if our family had a set of masks and we said no, they shipped us six of them!

Easter 2020

Mass together at home – joining our parish family virtually.

Brunch – egg bake, fruit smoothies and orange rolls.

Movie afternoon – Aunt Larissa joined us.

Jake grilled for dinner. Steaks and hotdogs because of course, it’s snowing!

Popcorn party & Yoda

One of the local movie theaters is selling enormous bags of popcorn. We bought one and had movie night at home.

Shecklet #2 also used his painting skills today to paint Baby Yoda on our deck door window. It turned out great!

Window painting

There’s a window painting project being posted on social media right now so we decided to jump on the bandwagon. (The boys were able to count it as their weekly art assignment.)

Taping and painting
The finished product

Week 1 of e-learning – done

We survived our first week of e-learning. The Shecklets eased in to things – technology, managing time to complete choice board assignments, corresponding with teachers via video chat, email, and messaging – and seemed to enjoy what they were doing. I think they all agree they miss “real” school, but they are doing their best to make the most of a unique situation.

I’m really proud of how they have handled the last three weeks at home. They have hardly left the house but have taken advantage of the few nice days we’ve had to bike, rollerblade, scooter, and use the driveway as their canvas for chalk drawings. (Last night’s downpours cleared things off, so they’ll have clean concrete once the temps warm up again.

Shecklet #1’s chalk drawing – art assignment week 1
Shecklet #2’s drawing – art assignment week 1
Shecklet #1’s social studies assignment draw a world map – week 1
Shecklet #2’s Baby Yoda keeping watch over the art room at school. (Photo sent to us by the art teacher.)

This introvert is starting to feel the effects of being “forced” to stay at home. It’s one thing to choose to stay home but know that you could go out, see people, run errands, etc. if you wanted to. It’s an entirely different feeling to know you should not do those things and therefore are staying home. I’m not sure it’s something I will get used to.