So How Are You Doing?

“So, how are you doing?”  Even though this question has been asked multiple times, I still don’t know what to say.

Our first meeting to discuss Veronica’s diagnosis was with Dr. Adams at the University of Minnesota.  While Dr. Adams talked about what they found in the MRI with us, the resident who was with Dr. Adams pulled up the MRI images on a screen behind her.  In that moment I recognized this is something real and monumental.  I felt very small and unprepared, but I knew I would do anything to help Veronica.

At first when people asked me the question of “How are you doing?” my thoughts went right to the little guy that on the Axiom in the movie Wall-E.  The whole situation seemed epic and on its own trajectory, while I just needed to be around to help remove “foreign contaminants.”

I soon realized that this was completely wrong.  This isn’t just about Veronica, it is about all of us supporting her.  When we started to tell people about the diagnosis we were met with an outpouring of compassion and offers to help from almost everyone that we shared with.  Even people I consider casual acquaintances have offered time and resources.  I need to allow everyone around us to do their part.  This makes me feel like Veronica, the kids and I can get through to the other side of this not unscathed, but well cared for.  So how am I?  I feel well.  I feel at peace knowing that so many people are prepared to help in any way they can.

Celebrating another milestone

I’m turning another year older in a few days – and it’s a “special” birthday.

My friend, Michelle, planned a get together at a local restaurant and a great group of friends showed up to help me celebrate! I wish I had had our server take a group picture of everyone, but one of my friends did capture these pictures for me. (The lone color one is of the ladies I know from our old parish – several who have known me since before we had kids.)

In the invite, Michelle offered to put together a spiritual bouquet for me. On the vase that held 40 roses are the prayers she collected. I can’t tell you how much the love, support, and friendship of the ladies who came tonight (and many others,) means to me – especially as I close in on the “T-2 months til surgery” mark, which coincidentally is my actual birthday. I am truly blessed to have so many beautiful women supporting me in the rough times and celebrating with me in the joyful times. ❤️

A day with friends

I had to take Shecklet #3 to an appointment to have stitches removed from her finger today. 😞 My friend, M, was willing to take Shecklet #4 for the morning so she didn’t have to tag along to the doctor’s office.

#4 and her buddy had a great time playing! (Photo credit – My friend M.)

Through it

A friend of mine in my women’s group at church was recently telling me about how there have been times in her life when she has known she needs to go THROUGH something to get to the other side. There’s no going around the circumstances that have come my way or my family’s way lately. We can only go THROUGH them.

It’s been an extremely difficult week and a half. Probably one of the hardest to date. But I’ve clung to my faith (even if it was by a thread at times,) and have caught a glimpse of what my friend was talking about regarding going THROUGH our challenges. Then I saw this in the restroom at church today. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Party for the 7 year old!

Family and friends gathered this afternoon to share food, cake, and ice cream to celebrate Shecklet #3 turning 7! She is so full of life and I am so grateful to be her mom 💗

Celebrating Alyssa & Dan

Our family friend, Alyssa, married her longtime love last weekend in Seattle. Tonight we had the privilege of celebrating with them. The event was held at Paikka and they had food trucks serving sandwiches & salad, ice cream, and hot dogs (if you were still hungry after sandwiches.) It was fun catching up with the Cowger clan (who we consider family.)

Comfort

My dad asked to meet me yesterday afternoon so we settled on Hy-Vee for lunch (which is roughly in between us.) When I arrived, he handed me an envelope along with a beautiful quilt. In the envelope was a note he wrote explaining the gift I was now holding. Tears came to my eyes as I read his words and the words of his friend who made the quilt. I am so blessed to be supported by so many people – some whom I haven’t even had the privilege of meeting yet.

A punch to the gut

I’m 20 days out from a day I will never forget.  It’s also the day before two days of appointments that will hopefully provide more information regarding my next steps.

This is a version of an email I sent to family and friends after I was referred to doctors at the U of M after having an MRI back in August.

Stay tuned for more on the things God has already taught me this past month.

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I had some shocking news hit me on 9/5 and am writing to humbly ask for your prayers.

First, a little history just for context.  I’ve been struggling with hearing loss coupled with pain/pressure in my right ear for almost a year and have been seen by several different health professionals since last December.  This past spring, the ENT PA-C that I saw recommended having an MRI to rule in/out something called an acoustic neuroma.  At the time I didn’t see the need for something like that because they are relatively rare and my symptoms didn’t seem “that” bad.  Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I was fighting another sinus infection and the same pain/pressure in my right ear.  I decided to make the appointment for the MRI and added a CT scan as well (because of the sinus problem.)

The results came back the same day (8/21) – substantial sinus infection (which we treated with antibiotics) and the appearance of an acoustic neuroma.  (They did not tell me the size over the phone and I didn’t think to ask.)  The PA referred me to a specialist at the University of Minnesota and I was able to get an appointment scheduled on 9/5.  My MRI scan results were not good. I could see the acoustic neuroma right away when the doctor pulled up the image and emotions instantly overwhelmed me.  The acoustic neuroma is about 25mm, which is on the border of what they consider medium/large. We have no idea how long it has been growing, though the average growth rate is 1-2mm/year.  I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I have a tumor in my head. (Silver lining is that it’s not cancerous and “usually” slow growing.  Though care needs to be taken because as it grows, it pushes on the brain and eventually brain stem and can cause additional issues.)

Surgery is the recommended treatment due to my “young” age, good health, and the size of the tumor.  There are side effects of the surgery that brought me to tears a second time and continue to do so – complete hearing loss in my right ear is absolute if one surgical approach is taken and 2/3 likely if a different one is used.  The impact on the facial nerve is unknown until surgery is completed, though I’m told the surgeon at the U is meticulous and does everything he can to provide the “best outcome possible.” Time in the hospital can range from 3-7 days after the initial 24 hours or so in ICU.  Then it’s recovery at home – at least 6 weeks without lifting heaving items (including kids) so as to not cause cerebral spinal fluid leaks, exercises and an occasional check-in appointment, and I won’t be able to drive until my balance stabilizes (timeline for that is unknown.)  Needless to say, it was an extremely overwhelming afternoon. Thankfully, Jake was there.

As the news is still fresh and there is more information to gather, we have not made a decision on the treatment direction or timeline.  The doctor suggested we go home, talk, and call for a follow-up appointment with her and the neurosurgeon.  That second appointment at the U is now scheduled for 9/26 and I have an appointment at Mayo Clinic on 9/27 to get a second opinion on treatment recommendations.  Taking in and processing all of this information is extremely overwhelming, so I’m asking for prayers for clarity, for the right decision to be made, and for a sense of peace & courage.  I’ve also worked up the courage to pray for a miracle – complete healing without surgical intervention.

We have not shared any of this information with our kids and don’t plan to do so until we have a clear idea of treatment.  I am very open to talking about it though, please feel free to ask questions or check in.

Thank you in advance for your prayers!

Veronica

P.S.  If you want to know more about what an acoustic neuroma is, you can check www.anausa.org or http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/acoustic-neuroma/home/ovc-20339659

Sunday party

Shecklets #3 and 4 were invited to a birthday party today. The weather was unseasonably warm so swimsuits and water play were part of the fun. There were inflatable pools, a bounce house and a blow up obstacle course! Aunt Larissa was also there, which made it even more fun!